kynttila_henki @ 2010-09-15T01:48:00
will always love you.
And it always will ..
I can not forget you, just your memory fade with another person, and even try to feel something else, all the essentials you take it with you.
More than a year, and how much will be .. if you never met, this will continue for much longer ..
do not know how I have been thinking about how you see the day I do not feel anything for you.
And that you have not done anything for / to me so that I feel this.
But it is. And I'm not clean because I have you, and what I feel is really for you, and always.
Even when he left me, which I really want a little more than you, who has shown, even if I have lied many things, he was honest.
You do not.
Even though I have left, you're still there, how an indelible stain, how something that never leaves. How had you beyond the borders of what to delete.
And I think that magic myself and still think it needs to stop creating altogether so you can forget, even in my head and actually see what I want, do not deserve me, you do not interested, that you treat me wrong, you pass me, you have other things on my mind more interesting you see, that does not want it, that does not affect you, you're not interested, do not want it, not treat me well, would not make me happy, do not you give me everything I need to be who you are, that would hurt me with your way of treating.
And knowing all that, how can it be that the feeling is still there, impenetrable, indestructible, how protected from inside of me?
For you see this a waste of time because I appreciate and want as a friend, that for some thing I see even less than you. Because for you this is a waste of time and a distraction, because you are interested not actually have something real with someone. For all that is real.
And what I feel is fed illusions, of hopes, of those moments when it seems that you do feel something, those looks so serious and deep throw me, those moments, those smiles that seem to whisper "maybe yes .."
And then there are things about me. All are lies I believe myself that the pain of knowing that you do not want anything to do with me lighter ..
I feel very stupid that over a year since I'm so .. Expecting something from you, waiting for something real, something true ..
I do not know why, but I love you too Javier Arenas. And it should be.
But I can not love you so much. And believe me I've tried. Intet I forget sometimes, but that sentimeinto for you not to go for me.
I have not lied, which he felt was real. And loved him because he really loved me and showed real interest. But I'm tired of abnormalities that do not really love me. Although rarely partly to relieve .. would have been wrong. And although he could have endured still feeling it on the sand, eventually might have wanted to be clean to feel 100%
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